Who Are We To Judge

July 20, 2011


I have been somewhat silent about some political issues for a while. Well, it’s long enough. Even though there are many in the community that are much more articulate than I am, here I go again, ranting about a topic that has been pulled into the political arena that is not a political issue at all. It’s not even a legal issue. It is a very personal, spiritual, ethical, and emotional issue. That is every aspect of being LGBT or Q. I have added Q because my very brilliant grand daughter explained to me that Queer is the newest term to describe anyone LGBT. I will be using Q in this article from now on for brevity’s sake.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am very far from perfect, I am usually opinionated and can be judgmental of others. I aspire to better practices and higher understanding.

It is critical, for us to listen carefully to all sides before we cast our votes, before we choose to support any group or politician.



When a politician is weak of character and has nothing real to offer the community, they may jump on a bandwagon and raise a flag of a controversial topic that many voters don’t really understand, but are very emotional and are often irrational about. Citizens may believe it is important because someone in authority “said so.” They may want to do the “right” thing and so they are willing to hurt others—even family members—to satisfy their need to be right in their own eyes and of the community.

If you don’t love yourself enough to allow others to be who they are, then look within. Find out who you are at the core and allow yourself to be acceptable. Focus your energy on loving yourself. This may call for introspection that most of us won’t allow or aren’t willing confront. It may be a fearful prospect.

There are very few moments in most of our lives when we have love—real, pure unconditional love. The type of love, when everything about a person is perfect, no matter what. Many parents experience this unconditional love when their child is born. It may be the purist love that an individual will ever experience. Unconditional love is a state that we may attain with ourselves and others—this is possible. I have had these moments.

We may have unconditional love in any relationship, such as with a brother or sister. There are no conditions placed on the love we give to the other. Then, there is the conditional love—when we say, “I’d love you if you weren’t gay.” Or, “I want you to be the way I think you should be. So I can respect and love you.”

If you don’t love yourself, there is no possibility of loving or accepting others. The only defense is to judge others—to take the focus off yourself. If we can put everyone’s attention on judging a particular individual or group, then no one is looking at us and seeing what a “bad” person we are on the inside.

Almost every human has been misled into thinking they are the only one who is unacceptable—the only one who is defective. This belief allows us to be intimidated by social practices, such as judgment of others. Quite often, this is what the political bandwagon is about. The politician is counting on drawing focus away from what they are trying to cover up about themselves. I call this “tap dancing.” It draws your attention away from the topic.

When a person says they are Christian and that makes it “right” to criticize and degrade Q’s, isn’t that contrary to their own belief system? This is the irrational behavior I was referring to above.

I learned about prejudice from my Dad. I learned about unconditional love from my Dad and Mom. It is clear; they allowed me to be perfect, most of the time. I realize, that kind of support is rare and very much needed. I learned about rejection and judgment from my peers and society.

I am not judging anyone here. I’m just sayin,’ when I see a Christian, judging and condemning another’s lifestyle or behavior’s, I see a very small child—afraid of being judged and condemned–someone who is overwhelmed by not being acceptable–I see a person that has not yet found love from within.

I see a person without their own words, who is simply regurgitating what has been fed into them all their lives. I see a person who is not in the habit of questioning everything and thinking, thinking, thinking.

When I observe a Christian judging and condemning another’s lifestyle or behavior’s, I wonder what happened between “Judge not, or Love one another,” and the unconditional love that generated us.

I am not asking you to like everyone, I am only making a request; Please, don’t hurt people I love and respect. And, please, don’t hurt yourself by judging others. You can be better than that. We can all be better than that.